Suffer in Silence Type of Girl

The past few weeks of my life have been full of tears. My Aunt Karen had ovarian cancer, and wasn't doing well. All last week, I was a mess. In school, I would fake a smile, rarely showing how much I was hurting inside. I'm very sensitive and I cry easily. I never cry in front of others though. I just don't. I try so hard not to cry in front of my family for big things. Sure, I'll cry in front of them while I'm reading a book or watching a movie, but for problems like this? Never.
The other day, I tried telling my best friend Jackie what was going on in my life, and I just lost it. Thankfully, the only people who noticed my tears were her and my other friend Jaylin. They gave me huge hugs and shielded me from the crowd of people who were in the same room. It was before school started that day, and it just made me feel small and fragile all day. Even worse, it was my boyfriends birthday and I had to fake a smile for him, not wanting him to see me cry.
Only 4 people knew what was going on in my family and how it was affecting me. Now, everyone knows because I posted it on facebook. Something short and simple, because I knew if I posted more, I would start to cry while sitting with my laptop.
"Rest in Peace Aunt Karen. She was such an amazing women, and I will miss her always. ♥♥"
That's right. My Aunt Karen lost her battle to cancer on Friday, December 21. That day seemed to be a day full of hurt for me.
I woke up at 1 a.m. that morning to find out I had no school, which most kids would be happy about. Not any student in my school was, because it was cancelled because one stupid kid threatened to bomb the school and randomly kill students. If he wasn't reported and school cancelled, my best friend who was in that kids social studies class could've been killed. I am thanking God that he was reported, because I wouldn't be able to handle losing my aunt and best friend. Then, at 8 a.m. I learned that my aunt died. It crushed me. I cried for a bit, but then I knew I had to be brave for my little sisters. I held myself together until I got to the bathroom, then I broke again. That day was the day I was so glad for Jackie, my best friend. Her and I went out for lunch and just talked and laughed and she helped take my mind off everything. Then, we made cookies and watched Avengers, laughing more at our cooking. Then, she went home and I went to my grand-parents house. My mom-mom is the sister of my Aunt Karen, so it hit her hard. She hugged me for a good 5 minutes and made me start to cry. The rest of the family came over and it was so hard to be strong in front of them. Thankfully, I got to leave there early and go to a small holiday party, which held my mind off of everything.
Now, Christmas is approaching and I am trying so hard to be strong and not cry, but sometimes I just excuse myself to the restroom when I'm with my family and just cry. I refuse to cry in front of them anymore. I must be strong for my sisters, because if I cry so will they. I will be strong. I'm the suffer in silence type of girl, and I guess I will always be that way.